“What if this is as good as it gets?” ― Melvin Udall played by Jack Nicholson in As good as it gets
03:06 Why the fuck am I awake? Head pounding. Eyes swollen shut. Not many people know my eyes change colour when I cry. A blurry image of big dark green eyes with thick black framed irises on a pale white face staring at me. The beauty of pain.
A perfect sundown. Pink clouds, pale blue sky, an almost full moon, white snow covering the peaks of the mountains, swallows flying high in the sky; the coming of spring. The castle towering over the river. Can’t see the white horse. An empty fairy tale.
What if the prince just wanted to save her, no strigs attached?
Did you know the human body is not supposed to hold more than 3 litres of water a day? The sodium level drops, cells get flooded with water and swell. Headaches, nausea, vomiting. Drowning myself from within. The ultimate self-sabotage. I feel the audience tensing up. They knew the whole time, of course, they see what the protagonist can’t. They are waiting for the punch line and so am I.
Why is hate so much easier than love? Why are suffering and pain the better story? How are we supposed to survive if we can’t even trust ourselves?
Ears buzzing. Pictures of water slowly flowing down the river. The quiet of falling apart. Make it stop. Something pressing on my chest. Can’t breathe. Just please make it end.
Caring so much it hurts. The beauty of pain. Hardly surprising the best love stories are the ones ending in death.
How deep can we fall?
Aromatic deception 