“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.”
― Charles Bukowski
You can be whatever you want your parents said. They forgot to tell you that you are not the one who is going to choose what will become of you. Life will kick you around like an old little football and will drag you through the mud every time you think you already hit rock bottom. Bu you see, there is no bottom in the bucket of life. You just wake up one morning and ask yourself how you got there. You’ll remember what you dreamt of becoming one day and you’ll realize that it is way too late for that. Nobody can achieve anything without concentrating on only one thing. So, for all those people out there who love to try new things; all those who get bored as soon as they understand what they tried last: there is no hope. The good news is you don’t need to try to be the best. Hell, you don’t even need to try to be good at anything. I would tell you, you need to be you, but nobody knows who you are, not even you. So, when you reach the point where you hate whatever you have become, don’t listen to those who tell you, you can change. Sure, you can change your habits, your actions but deep down you’ll always be you and if you hate it, there is nothing else to do but accept it because you’ll have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
What you can do is whatever you want. It will be difficult especially when you’re trying to break those brain washing leftovers of your childhood. And once you’ve opened Pandora’s box, you’ll start to notice more and more things that you do or don’t do just because you were told to or not to.
Being nice to people for example, is the stupidest thing people tell you to do. People are not going to be nice and you need to be ready. Also, if you meet nice people, and eventually you will, how far will you go for them? How much of yourself are you going to sacrifice for them without even knowing? Just be honest and stop telling yourself they would do the same for you. People are nice when they need something from you, no other reason.
Someday something will happen, and you’ll find yourself alone. You’ll see that there is nothing left for you to give and nobody will be there for you. You’ll be staring at that person in the mirror looking at you. You don’t know her. You don’t know what she wants or what she likes because that person was so busy to be whatever others needed her to be, that she did not really exist. Just a shadow jumping from one person to another when needed. Disappearing into the darkness of the night. Every day a new beginning. Every day the same ending. Always there but never fully appreciated.
Aromatic deception 