“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William s. Burroughs
The beauty of tiny apartments lies in the small details. The carpet carefully placed beside the bed, the tiny vase with fake flowers on the shelve, the big bed slapping you in the face when you enter your living / bed/ dining room; the melodic voices of your neighbours walking up and down the hall while you’re trying to take a dump. It’s in those details that the magic lies.
There is also a great number of advantages that you would not have otherwise. You can go to three different rooms all at once and it will only take half a second. In some cases, you have the fridge next to the bed or the bathtub like a mini bar, for your home. In others, you can open the front door while taking a shower. In short, it is the best way to get fat fast and without spending too much money on food. You can’t even spend too much money on stuff that you don’t need because you don’t have the space for it – actually, that is not true. You can fit a surprisingly huge amount of shit in such a tiny space.
As soon as you notice dogs don’t need a big apartment you’ll try to get one, just for company and for safety reasons when hiking alone – because you see, most people have already settled down and you can’t always wait for others to do what you want to. However, life’s a bitch and landladies are – for whatever reason – allowed to decide what you can and cannot do in the apartment: no dog.
To avoid feeling alone and not wanting to end up talking to a fish in a bowl, you’ll end up getting a plant. No. You’ll end up going to a gardening store to get a plant and you’ll get back home with fifteen of them – because it would be stupid ending up talking to one single plant.
You’ll start taking care of them, scavenging the internet for everything you need to know about them, you’ll look at insta pictures of urban gardening and wonderful houses full of plants but also with space you can live in and start to see something behind the curtain. It’s a good thing you can close that thing again. A few months in you’ll get cheap soil and more plants because there is still a little space left where you can walk without running into a palm tree. And everything is beauty and peace.
Suddenly you see a little annoying flying fellow crawling on your desktop. You kill the midge without mercy and go on. The next day you’ll notice little spots on a leaf, and you’ll ignore it. You’ll ignore it until all your plants have the same shitty problem of unknown origin – the gardening store does not give refunds and there are one to three midges flying around you no matter where you are.
It takes a long time to find out what kind of diseases house plants can get and how to properly get rid of them. You’ll stumble upon the fact that cheap soil can contain lots of midges and start to get frustrated. The best thing to do would be to defenestrate everything. Save money, time and space and oh look a Christia Obcordata…
Aromatic deception 